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  • Jan. 24th, 2014 at 9:41 PM
slap, pin-up, fiesty, sexy
most posts are friends only from now on.
<3
i'm pretty lenient with who i add, so just leave me a comment and i'll most likely add you.

Answer for question 4186.

  • Jan. 8th, 2015 at 7:40 AM
slap, pin-up, fiesty, sexy
Do you enjoy dancing? Do you remember the last time you danced? What was the occasion?
the last time i danced was at a contra dance in concord, mass.
i miss it. i don't think i'd be able to keep up with a whole dance, let alone the whole night. i know i wouldn't be able to walk the next day.
i'm twenty-three.
it was the only thing strong enough to pull me away from my depression. i loved it.

Apr. 15th, 2014

  • 10:02 PM
slap, pin-up, fiesty, sexy
"On my moon" during the springtime lunar eclipse on blood moon while mom has a hysterectomy and I go through tough relationship stuff. Sounds symbolic.
But really it's just a lot on top of doing taxes in the mountains.

Expect a deluge when I get home.

visited the mesa property for thinking

  • Mar. 3rd, 2014 at 9:12 PM
slap, pin-up, fiesty, sexy
good news, everyone!

greetings, earthlings. i visited the quarter acre on the mesa that i own, on the border of the BLM land at the base of two peaks. (it is 63' x 127' or is it 172'?)

i sat and thought and surveryed and walked and smoked and dreamed. i feel well.

i think i am going to set up a crowdfund site and a website to help progress along and keep track of my progress.

so. i need a website.
i need to get a couple of trailers; either donated, or 500 a piece.
fencing, shitter, tools, water barrels.
concrete, concrete block.
pallets, windows, doors, beams, corrugated steel, corrugated plastic, straw.

friends, smokes, food bank and food stamps, beer (homemade hooch?), water.
-papers, matches, filtered tubes, ounces.
we have nine solar panels and a heavy duty generator (six plugs). we need batteries (golf cart batteries and deep cell marine batteries) and fuel. we need 12V and propane refrigerators/freezers.

someday discount hardwood flooring!
someday plaster!

16' x 16' cabin, with slant roof and greenhouse.

CONCRETE:
16.5 feet x 16.5 feet x 4 inches
Slabs, Square Footings, or Walls
Results:
90.7 cubic feet or 3.36 cubic yards or 2.57 cubic meters
if pre-mixed concrete*, it is 1.21e+4 lbs or 5.47e+3 kgs
if 60 lbs per bag, it is 201 bags
if 80 lbs per bag, it is 151 bags

Sep. 12th, 2013

  • 2:33 AM
slap, pin-up, fiesty, sexy
strange how using lj goes in waves.
strange how the same people sign off and on during the same times.
and strange,
how they often seem to be going through similar times when doing so.

Aug. 20th, 2013

  • 10:29 PM
slap, pin-up, fiesty, sexy
I can't be in the same room as you, right more, Lover. It causes me such pain and anxiety. You don't seem to realize how deep you cut me. You don't seem to realize how defeated, worthless and discarded I feel from those quickly shouted words. I feel like shit, and all I want from you is an apology. An embrace that you really mean. A sorry that means sorry. An apology that says that you see in my eyes the burning hurt that you put there yourself, like a hot poker to the heart. Just mean it... And understand why I can't let you treat me that way.

If I didn't have modeling work in a few days my leg would be sliced the fuck up... A coping mechanism I haven't employed in over a year now.

Tags:

First embroidered thing.

  • Aug. 22nd, 2012 at 12:02 AM
slap, pin-up, fiesty, sexy
My first shot at embroidery, on a patch that Stephen drew for me.  It was done with a paint marker and I'm afraid it will fade or wash out.  And I would, believe it or not, like the wash it if it needs it.  I am so pleased with how it turned out!

Tags:

Aug. 21st, 2012

  • 11:59 PM
slap, pin-up, fiesty, sexy
i wonder if i will ever be eloquent again.  i wonder if i will ever be able to speak things the way i once did.  i wonder.

i wonder if i will feel "right" again.

i wonder if i will ever stop second-guessing my decisions.

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